What is success?
In a world obsessed with measurable progress, success is often reduced to numbers—net worth, promotions, social media followers, or how many material things one has. These are tangible, easy to track, and publicly validated. But what if the most important measures of success aren’t quantifiable at all?
Author and theologian, C.S. Lewis, wrote “Many people chase wealth, status, and achievement because progress is easy to measure. They fail to realize that the gains that count the most are the hardest to count. Real growth is building character – striving to improve in generosity, integrity, humility, fairness, courage, or wisdom.” Lewis’ statement reminds us that true success isn’t about what we accumulate, but who we become.
My Own Pursuit of the Wrong Kind of Success
When I was younger, I bought into the illusion that external success could fill an inner void. I grew up in a money poor neighborhood, yet I excelled in school, believing that academic achievement would bring me the satisfaction I craved. It seemed to pay off—despite financial hardships, I earned a spot at a prestigious Ivy League university. I thought reaching this milestone would finally make me feel whole. It did not.
Still chasing fulfillment, I started working at a prominent newspaper’s business division before attending law school. Practicing law was supposed to be the pinnacle of success. And yet, despite “making it” in society’s eyes, the emptiness remained.
Not knowing how to find lasting fulfillment, I sought it through self-destructive means—riotous living, substance abuse, and eventually losing everything I once thought was important. I had achieved by the world’s standards, but had imprisoned myself in a cycle of dissatisfaction.
It was only when I redefined success—not by what I had, but by who I was becoming—that I found true fulfillment.
The Success Metrics That Mislead Us
The modern world pushes us toward a definition of success that prioritizes external validation. From childhood, we’re conditioned to believe that grades, titles, and net worth determine our value.
This creates a dangerous cycle:
We pursue achievements that look good on paper but feel empty inside.
We compare our lives to others based on material benchmarks.
We feel like failures when we don’t meet arbitrary milestones.
But deep down, we know that success without fulfillment is failure in disguise.
A Different Kind of Growth: The Hardest Gains to Measure
Real success isn’t about how much you earn, but how much you contribute. It’s not about how high you climb, but how deeply you impact others.
Here are the “hard-to-measure” but most valuable forms of growth:
Generosity: Do you give without expecting something in return?
Integrity: Do your actions align with your values, even when no one is watching?
Humility: Can you admit mistakes and keep learning?
Fairness: Do you treat people with respect, regardless of status?
Courage: Do you stand for what’s right, even when it’s unpopular?
Wisdom: Are you seeking deeper understanding rather than just surface-level knowledge?
None of these qualities can be tracked on a spreadsheet, yet they define the kind of legacy we leave behind.
How to Redefine Your Own Success
Shift from “What do I have?” to “Who am I becoming?”Instead of measuring success by possessions, measure it by your personal growth and character. Ask yourself: Am I more patient, kind, and self-aware than I was last year?
Surround yourself with value-driven people.The company you keep influences your definition of success. Spend time with people who inspire you to grow, not just those who chase status.
Embrace inner work as success.Therapy, meditation, and self-reflection aren’t just “nice-to-haves”—they’re essential tools for real growth. The more you understand yourself, the more intentional your life becomes.
Celebrate the unseen victories.Every time you choose honesty over convenience, kindness over selfishness, or courage over comfort, you’re succeeding in ways that truly matter.
At the end of life, no one will read off your bank statements or social media accomplishments at your funeral. They will remember how you made them feel, the values you stood for, and the lives you touched.
True success isn’t measured in what you own. It’s measured in the love, wisdom, and integrity you leave behind.
Are you measuring the right things?
Peace and Blessings,
James
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