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Writer's pictureRev. James Trapp

From Victim to Victor: Redefining Your Life’s Story



It’s 2024.


And Surprise! Your new life is waiting. 


To live this new life, you must no longer limit your view of life by past experiences.


When we release our perceived limits, we experience true freedom. All of nature is conspiring for your freedom so that Spirit can unleash its energy through and as you. It is the energy of love, beauty, creativity, joy, and magnificence. 


You have a unique plan for your life. This plan is about recognizing the greatness within you so that you are constantly being more and never less than your true self.


To access the plan specifically for you, you must choose to unhook yourself from descriptions that others have used to define you, or misguided portrayals you have used to label yourself. However, to make such a choice, you must be aware. With awareness, you have a choice, and you are indeed free.


A woman named Laura shared how she grew up in what looked like a happy, all-American household with seven siblings. Her mother was an excellent and dutiful housewife, and her father was a working class employee of the Knights of Columbus and American Legion. However, in Laura’s background, terror lurked. Her father, verbally and physically abusive, terrorized her brothers and sisters nearly every day. Even after growing up, taking back her life, and moving across the country, she still wore her victim story like a badge.


The subtext of everything Laura ever shared about her childhood was, "My father screwed up my life." One day, she was having lunch with Paul, a close friend. And Laura was going over all the horrible things that had happened in her life. Suddenly, her friend said to her, "Laura, how long are you going to tell that story and be a victim of that story?" Laura was shocked and responded, "You don't understand! This man—my father—tried to ruin my life!" and, "You don't understand what the hell I've been through!" and, "You just don't understand!" To which he replied, "I understand. I want to know how long you will tell the story."


Fortunately, despite her initial reaction, Laura knew he was right. At that moment, she realized she'd been going through her life thinking she was earning purple hearts for having the worst childhood story. She was determined to hold onto that story. The truth was that her story was holding her back from healing. Laura had this sad core belief that her story made her friends by getting people to pity her.


By defining herself only by her past, she was pushing people away. By tying herself to her past, Laura kept herself from moving her life forward. In the same way, we often unconsciously tie ourselves to stay where we are, all the while thinking we are moving forward.


Upon close examination, reflection, and awareness, you may realize that you have been stuck in place because you have been living in a reality that someone else has shaped for you. Perhaps someone has told you what you could or could not do based on your gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or even where you were born. Maybe you've been told that there are ceilings that you cannot go beyond for whatever reason. Or you're living out a dream from a parent, teacher, or society.


To live a liberated life, you must break the bonds of someone else's reality to express your true self. To explore the new possibilities that life has to offer, we must take inventory of our life and begin to clear out that which we no longer want to carry with us. We must eliminate the debris that has piled on our souls so that we can be regenerated and revitalized by the Whole Spirit of God.


One of the most important things we can do to rid ourselves of the limited notions of life is to clear out any false concepts about the nature of God. How we see God reflects how we see ourselves, and how we see ourselves is one of the critical determinants of how our life shows up.


Many people have grown up with the concept of a judgmental, disapproving God in which humans are flawed and unworthy. There is no God like that. Yet, when such a notion is accepted and internalized - that something is inherently wrong with us - there is a tendency to go out in the world and prove it. We are all born as original blessings and are here to embody and radiate God's unconditional love. Born as a blessing is the truth of who and what we are.


To step into our true selves, we cease focusing on our seeming flaws and turn our attention to and celebrate what's right about us, what's good about us, and what's beautiful about us so that we can radiate the light of God's presence - a presence that is the same yesterday, today, and forever. When we live from that perspective, this year, and every year, we will constantly hear “Surprise! Your New Life is Waiting.” As we heed that call, we move from victim to victor to a vessel of the Spirit of the Living God.


Peace and Blessings,

James

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